affectionate companionship

Haven't been visiting gaychristian.net for a year or so.

There was a forum entitled the Side B-ers - referring to gay Christians who choose to remain single and believe "sexual expression should be reserved for a heterosexual marriage" (quoted from 'Matt').

There was a discussion thread on topic of companionship.

If God's willing, will I ever find such companion in my life?
It will be nice to hold hands with someone you care about.
Or to hug him or wake up next to him.

*sigh*

BRITTEN Billy Budd

Teddy is so cute.
I was speechless when seeing him shirtless on the stage.

May God forgive me.

Although Peter Coleman-Wright's singing in the original production had greater richness of tone and complexity of colour, fellow baritone Teddy Tahu Rhodes is still a fine Billy Budd. Singing with a clear, focused tone and impressive agility, his firm, youthful-sounding voice is well suited to his character's exuberant good nature. Rhodes's characterisation is a winning mix of virile magnetism, artless simplicity and, ultimately, moral strength. And, yes, his shirt does come off for a while during the first act. (The Australian, Sep 26, 08)

If love....

can build a bridge between your heart and mine.

pity or admiration?

I bumped into one's website at http://closetkapellmeister.blogspot.com/. It is interesting that the author felt very sorry for married-to-women gay men that ended up establishing a family.

Will it be controversial if i say that I rather admire those married men (who are Christian)?
I believe they do struggle like you and me. And they surely realise of their incapabilities and weaknesses. But these men choose to live the rest of their lives in total submission to God's grace that enable them to love their wives and God's blessing of children (if any). For the Bible reminds us that Christ's strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.

Of course marriage is not everyone's calling. Some gay-oriented Christian may choose to stay single and devote more time for God's service. Yet, God may allow others to get married to women who can understand and are willing to accept their husbands and support them in whatever situation and condition.

The journey will not be easy, for sure, but it is not impossible.
May God help us.

acceptable or sinful?

I stumble upon a gay-friendly christian blog and the quote below really hits me hard.

"The emotional, relational aspects of same sex love that a homosexual desires is genuine and is not evil in itself. But the sexualization of that desire is a sin. In other words, a person who has same sex attractions needs the love of a brother or a father but because of his sinful nature, his state of fallenness in Adam, these genuine emotional and relational needs have become a cause for sexual arousal...

...All he knows is that he desires to be close with a man, to be intimate with someone of the same sex - to have a bonding that will heal a feeling of emptiness inside." (by Rik of Journal of a Battling Christian)

daydreaming (kind of)

"are you lonesome tonight..
do you miss me tonigh..
are you sorry distance set us apart..."(music fades off)

Those lyrics have ben ringing in my head in the past few days. I think tigger has been missing someone.

To start with, he missed late-night (on weeknights) chatting with a good mate who lives on the other side (literally) of the world. It is usually 11pm-ish when tigger finishes his dinner and this friend (let's call him Joe) will also have had his lunch finished too and back to work.

Tha chatting will usually last for an hour or two or even more depending on how chatty we are for any given night. 

There were a few awkward silence in the earlier days but it's been good now.

We learn more about each other from night to night (or day to day in his side). We do ask each other lots of 'random' questions - ranging from movies, political news to almost anything else that one could think of.

We find out that we are actually very much different in personality and preference. But thinking over a bit further, there are not few of similarities that we do share, namely, things about christianity, persistance about life and, ah, the good old issue of 'weaknesses' (some of them if i may add).

Now, Joe has been on long long holiday (yes, it has been started and won't be ended any sooner) and i think he has also found the love of his life (good on him). Things will never be the same again even though he will back to work in a month time or so.

But anyhow, i am thankful to God for all those lovely evenings we have shared. Tigger will continue treasure every moment of those days in a very special part of his heart.

ciao for now.

someone got excited tonite. gosh.